Rachel Williams:  

The following is an interview I did for a magazine articale I was featured in. If you want to know more about me then please read it. Often I find myself writing the acronym LGBT as the community I represent, but find myself dealing primarily with Gay or Lesbian groups. This sometimes leaves me wondering about the ¿T¿ at the end of the list. Transgenders as a group include by definition Transsexuals, Cross Dressers, Drag Queens and Drag Kings. Most of us have seen and enjoyed the Drag shows in the community which are often associated with fund raisers and even seen the occasional cross dresser or Transsexual out and about. But who are these people, what differentiates them and what are they really about? I¿ve had friends and readers say conflicting things about them as a group and even found myself with a few misperceptions of my own. As I¿ve found out there needs to be a lot of education in the community about this group. To separate fact from fiction and stereotypes, I decided to find out first hand about the rarest and most elusive segment of the Transgendered population¿ the Transsexual. But first I wanted to do a little homework so I did not offend anyone. The Human Rights Campaign defines Transsexual as ¿a person whose innate sense of gender conflicts with his or her anatomical sex. Some, but not all, transsexual people undergo medical treatments, such as hormone therapy or surgeries, to change their physical sex so that it is in harmony with their gender identity.¿ Others live in their desired gender without Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) either because of medical issues or by choice as the decision to alter their physical sex is a very difficult one. I made a few phone calls to see who in the community would be open for a RenoOut interview. There were surprisingly few people available who agreed and even several who declined at the last minute preferring to live in ¿Stealth¿ as many Transsexuals do. For those of you who might not know ¿Stealth¿ is a term similar to ¿in the closet¿ but for the transsexual represents living in the chosen gender blending into society with no one knowing they were anything but who they currently present to be. Many transsexuals live in great fear of being ¿read¿ or ¿outed¿ as for them it can be very dangerous. I was able to interview Renee, Dominick and Rachel, a few brave hearts willing to help educate me and our readership regarding the transsexual experience. Renee and Rachel are male-to-female (MTF) transsexuals and Dominick is female-to-male (FTM). They range in age from 41 to 52. All they ask of us is that we embrace them much like we would anyone else in our circle of friends, getting to know them as people, not just as labels. RenoOut: How young were you when you knew there was something different about you? Renee: I can remember only wanting to play with the girls and Barbies at 6 or 7yrs old, even getting spanked for it. As time went on I learned that it was much safer to be a chameleon and blend in with the crowd ¿or else¿. Dominick: It surfaced for me at the age of three and until I was six I thought I was a boy. During my primary school years I was forced to wear the required Catholic school dress which caused huge internal anxiety and confusion. This interfered with my learning and concentration during critical formative years. The stress we endure as transsexual youth is unbearable. Rachel: I knew at about 6yrs old, I enjoyed playing with dolls and playing house, I also knew that it was not acceptable for boys to play house, so I played army with the boys and pretended to be tough. I was also jealous and envious of all the girls. RenoOut: How do you explain the discrepancy between how you were born physically vs. how you feel? Renee: Some studies are insinuating that during pregnancy our mothers went through a very stressful period that caused a rush of estrogen that at a particular time in development of the fetus causes the male brain to be wired female. Now I don¿t know if that is true, however, I am the way I am. And it is up to me to come to terms with it and decide what am I going to do about it vs. worry about how it happened or why me. It took a very long time and a lot of soul searching but transitioning has truly given me a joy in my heart like never before and it helps to fulfill my first fundamental rule for being, which is to be happy, healthy and a productive member of society. I sure do smile a lot more and look forward to living each day with meaning. I think I¿m the luckiest gal around to live now in a time where this is possible. Dominick: Incongruence implies that there is a lack of harmony, agreement, or appropriateness. Born biologically female I felt incongruent until I confronted my Gender Identity Dysphoria and began my journey towards transition twelve years ago. Today my mind, body, and soul are pretty close to total congruency. Transition was a tremendous relief to my psyche. Rachel: I¿m not sure if I can explain the discrepancies. All I know is that I have a female brain. As far as my physical body, I looked at that as I was born with a birth defect. We all ask ourselves why do we feel this way. It¿s only when you give up on the why and say ¿why¿ doesn¿t matter it¿s just who I am. 3.RenoOut: How long have you been Out as a transsexual? Did you have any problems coming out? Renee: I¿ve been in transition for a little over 2 yrs and only ¿out¿ for about 1yr. I was terrified to transition or come out and fully prepared to loose all my friends and family. I tried to go stealth, but had too many concerned friends that came knocking on my door to find out where I¿ve been and if I was all right¿ It was definitely my lot to be out. My transition to the Real Life Test has been amazingly smooth though. I only had 2 people who had any real problem with me, my mother (sadly we have agreed to end the relationship) and a friend who is a minister (who ¿needs time to come to terms¿ with it), everyone else has been great. Usually I hear ¿ We love the person on the inside and if that¿s the same person that is now Renee, then we love her as well¿, how cool is that? I really feel blessed by some great friends and wonderful people in my life. I believe that it has really helped me to blossom and assimilate quickly. Dominick: My transition was very brutal and I¿m not ready to share at this time. Rachel: It¿s hard to say just when you come out. For me it was more of a gradual change. I started HRT June 10, 2003 and started living full time August 1, 2005. I¿m not sure what you mean by problems. For me it was more about what I lost, such as my son, my best friend and my job. RenoOut: What does it mean to ¿transition¿? Renee: Technically, transsexuals follow the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care to transition: You begin with psychotherapy for a period of 3-6mos to obtain a diagnosis of Gender Identity Dysphoria (GID) then you have the opportunity to obtain a letter to start Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). You begin HRT and the Real Life Test living full time in the desired gender (not necessarily at the same time). You are required to be on HRT and the Real Life Test a minimum of 1yr before obtaining approval for Gender Reassignment Surgery GRS also known as Sexual Reassignment Surgery SRS. Note that some MTF¿s will do elective surgeries such as breast augmentations or Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) as well as electrolysis or laser hair removal prior to or in lieu of the reassignment surgery. But in simple terms for me it has been an amazing journey of self awareness, acceptance, a lot of hard work learning new skills and suffering through hours of the agonizing pain of hair removal and I¿ve still yet to get my GRS which is often at least 6-8 weeks of recovery. Dominick: This is a difficult question for me to answer. I had little to no help when I left Reno to transition and arrived in a major metropolitan city with few skills. San Francisco is one of the most expensive cities to live in the world, so survival let alone GRS was no small task. I barely made it back home alive- no kidding! However, I was forced to mature quickly and learned to play with the big dogs. Rachel: For me it meant a lifetime dream becoming a reality. I found that each time that I told someone about me, I felt better about me. It was like a big weight was being lifted, all the guilt melted away and I became a much happier person. Before I transitioned, suicide was never far from my mind. Now it¿s the farthest thing from my mind. RenoOut: Isn¿t it expensive to transition and what are the differences between MTF and FTM? Renee: Oh yes but not like it was 20-30yrs ago and the procedures for MTF are much better, supposedly some gynocologists can¿t tell, again that is only hearsay. To get surgery done for a new Vagigi as I call them, here in the U.S. with Dr. Marci Bowers will run you $18,500 for the base model and extra for the one that does window...Expand for more